A Dangerous Affair
by Mad Hatter Usagi
Summary: Lavi and Tyki have been in a secret physical relationship for a year, but Tyki suddenly ends it without warning or given reason. Tyki had to end it to protect his Lovely from the Millenium Earl, but it ends up hurting them both. Six months pass and they see each other again for the first time in a while.


((Got the idea when I read "Worlds Fall Away" by **EqualsEquivalent**. I hope you enjoy!))

Even though knew it would never last, I had deluded myself. I had thought that we had something special. I had LOVED him. But I was truly just playing myself, since he was a Noah and I was a Bookman heir. There couldn't possibly be anything more to our relationship.

Sex. That was all. For a whole year we had snuck away from our friends and jobs and had sex in various hotels all across the world. We grew to know each other more than anyone else, and understand each other, and I thought that he had loved me back.

After we had had sex on our one year 'anniversary' -if you can even have one in a purely physical relationship...although it had gotten more romantic as it progressed- he had turned away from me. Usually, he'd lay down and stare at me for a while afterwards with a small smirk until I fell asleep in his arms. But that night, he had sat up and turned away, I had sat up too, wondering what was wrong.

"Leave," he said softly, but I heard the coldness in his voice. It was something that he had never done, he had always been cheerful or gentle, even when we were strictly enemies.

"Wh-what?" I stammered, my voice cracked. I thought that I had misunderstood, or had done something wrong.

"Go. I'm ending this. I can't do this any more," Tyki's voice was even and icy, and it scared me.

I felt the stinging of fresh tears threatening my eye, but after so long of being a Bookman I kept them from spilling over. I felt frozen from shock and pain, and it was even worse that he wouldn't look at me. I pulled my headband down so it was around my neck, which let my hair fall and obscure my face.

If he turned around, then I didn't want him to see the hurt that was so painfully there. "Fine. Since this clearly meant nothing to you." I stood shakily and dressed, then I dashed out of the hotel room, then out of the hotel itself. I ran down the street and into an alley, where I sank to the ground in the shadows and just that once, I cried.

**XXX**

I had spoken that awful word barely above a whisper, but I knew he heard me. I could picture the expression on his face when I said it, and the surprise and worry in his voice was too much when he said "Wh-what?"

"Go I'm ending this. I can't do this any more," I spoke them louder, to confirm his fears and mine. I didn't want to end it. I truly didn't. In that year we had that relationship I had been happiest. I had fallen for Lavi, and that was undeniable.

But the Earl has been keeping a closer eye on me than usual, and it would be hell if he found out. I had to end it. I couldn't even turn around, because I knew that my facade wouldn't be enough to fool him into thinking I didn't love him. I knew he could see through me.

So I didn't look as I felt the bed shift as he got out of bed. I didn't look as I heard him get dressed. I didn't look as I heard him take his cell phone off the side table. I didn't look as I heard his voice say, "Fine. Since this clearly meant nothing to you." I didn't even look as I heard the door open, then close.

I only looked up as I saw Road's door appear out of the corner of my eye. She was the only other person that knew of the last year. She looked so pitying as she crossed the floor and sat on the end of the bed, looking at me (who was only covered by a sheet on my lower half).

"Tyki-" She began, her voice full of sympathy.

"Don't. Please...don't." I stopped her. My voice cracked as I rested my head in my hands, covering my eyes that dripped tears onto the sheets.

"You did the right thing. You know what the Earl would do if he found out. You would never ever get to see your 'Lovely' again, even on the battle field." She stared at me, but I couldn't bring myself to look up.

"I know. Lavi would have been ripped apart and killed by the Earl..." I had said softly, my sholders shook with silent sobs.

Road silently stood and exited through her door, which disappeared with a *pop*. I hated myself for hurting Lavi, the one person I loved in the entire world. The one person that I was sure had loved me back... But I ended it to save him from the Earl's wrath. It would hurt worse to bury him.

**XXX**

I had come back to the Order the next morning after making sure that my face didn't look like I had been crying. I did everything slowly, and sometimes I would stop and stare into space while thinking about him. Allen and Lenalee were worried, but Yuu was just happy that I was quieter. Whenever I was alone in my room, without golems, I would start to cry without realizing it. I would stop myself quickly, and make sure I was okay.

I was more than sad though, I was furious. How dare he take advantage of me for a year, then throw me away like a used napkin? I had loved him, and I was sure he felt the same. But he didn't really... I wanted to hurt him, just like he'd hurt me.

Allen had convinced his boy friend to spar with me a lot. I guess he wanted me to focus on something, and not look so depressed. Yuu was happy to hit me, so it was okay. Lenalee got me to help with chores, and I was happy that I could help with something. The old man was gentler since he saw something was bothering me too.

I was upset, but time went on. So did the missions. I was deployed more than usual as the Noah and Akuma activity skyrocketed. I never once saw Tyki though. Even though I had been on hundreds of missions one after another in the 6 months that followed. He simply wasn't there.

It was like Tyki had disappeared, and the higher ups had noticed it. There was rumors that Tyki had gotten in trouble for something. Or that he wasn't needed because we were too weak. Even that Tyki had deserted the Noah. But I knew they were wrong. Those rumors couldn't possible be true. We were strong, and Tyki loved his family too much to get in trouble for anything, or leave them.

**XXX**

I was chained to the chair. I had been for months. The metal links dug into my skin, but that pain had been numbed long ago. My head rested so my chin was on my chest, I couldn't even bare to lift my head after the torture that I had been put through.

The Earl had found out as soon as I came back that night six months ago. He had that awful Sheril chain him to a wooden chair and beat him ravenously every hour on the hour ever since. It was painful, but no where near as painful as hurting Lavi, so I took it and didn't even make a sound the whole time.

My blood puddled around the chair, and some had soaked into the chair legs. My hair was matted with my own blood also. And my clothes were soaked red. I was a terrible sight to behold, but I held my pride and my tongue.

Since I had ended it, the Earl did me a favor. He promised not to take out his rage on Lavi. But he wouldn't protect him either. It was still comforting that he wasn't targetted specifaclly. So, with that in mind, I was able to stay mostly sane during the six months.

I was released after that. Told to wash myself, get dressed, and come back for my orders. So, obeying, I limped back to my room and showered. The water that pooled by my feet was red, and when I dried myself with a white towel, it was stained red. I put bandages on under my clothes, and made sure that my worse wounds couldn't be seen.

Then, baring the unimaginable pain, I walked normally to the Earl's throne and kneeled. His giggle echoed throughout the room, and the rest of the Noah gathered around as I straightened up, keeping my face a blank mask to hide the pain I felt.

"We are going to attack Central!" He giggled, "I want you all to not hold back! The Order will be destroyed tonight!" The rest of the Noah joined in on his maniacal laughter, and I produced a faux chuckle.

We were sent back to our room to prepare, but all I did was sit on the end of the bed with my head in my hands. I was ordered to attack the Order, and Lavi was going to see me again. He must hate me. _I will not hurt him,_ I thought. _No matter what, I will not hurt him._

**XXX**

It was late, and I had just finished sparring with Yuu. Yuu and Allen walked back to one of their rooms, and I was left alone in the training room. Everything was silent and still, which was something I hated. It let my thoughts drift, and that was dangerous when I still missed Tyki, although I shouldn't.

Tears dripped down my face, and I wiped them away with my sleeve. Being alone killed me, I would remember when I wasn't so alone, and how that ended. I would remember all the details about the man who had thrown me away. My heart always ached when I thought of him, so I shook my head and rubbed my face.

Suddenly, I heard an explosion and a crash. I dashed to the cafeteria, which was supposed to be empty by now, where the noise had come from. I saw the other exorcists join me as I ran, everyone with their innocence already out. People rushed into the cafeteria, and then turned and ran away.

When I entered first, I stopped in my tracks. There he was. _There he was!_ Tyki was standing on one of the tables next to a few other Noah. The Earl was doing cart wheels in the air, and the others were focused on him. But, all I could focus on was Tyki.

No one else could tell, I knew because they weren't showing it, that Tyki was hurt. He was pale and hurt. He looked exhausted and I could see specks of blood that had bled through his shirt. Even though I had thought I wanted to hurt him, I knew now that I wanted to hug him close. He was hurt! I wanted to run over and protect him and cradle him in my arms. But I couldn't for so many reasons.

I had been focusing on his body and hadn't looked at his face very much, but when my eyes drifted back up I saw that look in his eyes. It was so much at once, all mingled together when they shouldn't be. Pain, sadness, love, lust, and fear. I wanted to be with him so bad, but I knew he didn't love me, he had dumped me after all.

**XXX**

At midnight we gathered in the Earl's room. He informed us that we were going to travel through Road's door, then attack all of the exorcists, finally they were to steal all of the innocence and destroy them. It was a simple plan, and it seemed to me that the Earl had made it up that day just to spite me.

My brothers and sisters glanced my way every once in a while, but my face was a mask of indifference. I couldn't let them see how hurt I was, or how upsetting this order was. My mind was set to not show any emotion as we were there. _I shouldn't even look at Lavi when we get there._

My mind was on Lavi as always. I didn't want to hurt him, but I already have anyway. I can't let the Earl hurt him, it would be too much. I wish more than anything that Lavi and I could be together, but such a thing is impossible.

Road snapped her door open, giggling. She sat on Lero side saddle, and looked like a demented witch. The Earl glided through the door, and my siblings rushed after him. I looked longingly back in the empty room, wishing that I could stay, but followed them. We floated through the air until we reached the outside of their immense cafeteria.

The Earl took his sword and slashed through the air. The blow back from it hit the wall of the building, shattering the stone blocks and windows. Rubble and glass rained down to the marble floor of the great room, and the noise of it all could be heard anywhere, I expect.

The Earl and my siblings grinned and looked around the room as they landed on the tables, waiting for the exorcists that were bound to arrive any moment. I landed last, and looked around with a faux look of boredom on my face. My mind was consumed with how Lavi would eat his meals in this room.

I sighed and closed my eyes, refusing to see any more of the room, so my imagination wouldn't betray me further. I held the bridge of my nose, telling myself to let it go, to let **him** go. I couldn't though. I love him too much. I opened my eyes to watch for the exorcists

I watched as Finders and others ran in, then out again when they saw it was us. A crowd had accumulated in front of the door, making it hard for anyone to get through. I saw the crowds part as Lavi ran into the room, but he stopped almost immediately. Card Shark and his boyfriend ran in next, then that girl with the boots.

The three of them stared at the Earl, and Card Shark started arguing with the Earl, but I couldn't hear what he was saying. It was white noise to me, it all was. All I could see was Lavi, who was looking me over with a look of pure distress. I couldn't tell what the distress was caused by, but I wanted to comfort him so badly. I wanted to be with him again.

Fighting broke out all around us, but I couldn't move. I was in so much pain and I didn't want to hurt Lavi any more. I saw he didn't move either, he was frozen in place as his friends and mine fought heatedly. I felt, rather than saw, Road floating beside me.

"The Earl wishes for me to tell you, if you don't fight Lavi, he will. And you know how that will end," Road whispered in my ear.

As soon as she finished speaking I raised my arm and pointed a teez at my Lovely. "Teez." I said quietly, and the butterfly shaped weapon flew through the air and pierced the wall behind Lavi as the red haired man I love so much dodged.

His eyes were wide from shock, I guess he didn't expect me to do anything, then he scowled. There was intesnse hate in his eyes, so much that it hurt my heart. I clutched my me chest and I must have let my hurt through. Lavi gave me such a strange look when I showed him that it hurt that he hated me.

He scowled again, then dashed at me as I shot more Teez at him. I kept missing him on purpose but I skillfully made it look like I couldn't help his speed. He rushed me and I hopped backwards. Lavi pressed the long handle of his hammer into my forearm as he pushed me back.

We hit the wall, and my head cracked loudly into the stone. A large circular dent was left, and Lavi would not let up. He kept us close though, so if we said anything it would be kept between us. His scowl remained, but he eased up slightly, I guess he could tell I was injured and didn't want to hurt me.

"Why? Just tell me why, and I'll stop hating you," Lovely said lowly.

I blinked at him then replied, "If I had not ended it, the Earl would have found out and killed you." I wanted him desperately to know that I hadn't intended to hurt him.

"So...d-do you actually...?'" He trailed off because his voice was cracking. I saw tears well up in his eyes as the ice melted from his heart.

"I love you, Lavi. I just don't want the Earl to hurt you. He punished me for six months when he found out, but he promised not to hurt you if I keep it ended." My voice was urgent and quiet, I did not want the Earl or any of the Noah to know.

**XXX**

I was angry. I couldn't help but be mad after what he put me through. So, since he attacked first, I had an excuse to rush him. I dashed across the room to the table he stood on, holding my innocence in my left hand behind me. My hands shook as I advanced, I didn't truly want to hurt him.

He shot more Teez, but to my surprise they were all missing. He was making it look like I was evading them while he missed purposefully. My heart beat faster when I leaped onto the table and moved toward him, he jumped back, but my body hit his in midair.

My hammer hit his arms and kept them pinned to his chest as I pushed him into a wall. I heard the painful crack of bone against stone, and I knew I had made him hit his head. A circle was dented in the wall around his whole body, and he hadn't noticed but he was bleeding onto the wall so it made a decent sized puddle around him. My boots were coated in his blood.

I continued to push him into the wall, I wanted to keep him close so I could ask the question that had been on my mind for months. I lessened the force since it was obvious he had injuries prior to the fight, and I really truly didn't wish to cause him any more pain.

"Why? Just tell me why and I'll stop hating you," I asked this quietly, acutely awar of the other people in the room.

He looked at me with bewilderment, he obviously hadn't expected for me to ask about our previous relationship. But, then to my surprise he looked at me with a look of pure sadness. "If I had not ended it, the Earl would have found out and killed you."

"So...d-do you actually...?'" My voice trailed off and cracked, and I would guess that my face had flushed red.

"I love you, Lavi. I just don't want the Earl to hurt you. He punished me for six months when he found out, but he promised not to hurt you if I keep it ended," His voice was smooth and concerned, as well as quiet. He was telling the truth, I could see it in his gorgeous golden eyes.

I eased up even more, so it only looked like I was holding him down now, but really I was applying zero pressure. He looked at me lovingly, since I was blocking him from view, and I shuddered. My shoulders shook from sobs that I was trying to hold back, and I wanted badly to embrace him, but I wasn't at all sure if I should.

He must have seen my relief and inner confusion, because he looked at me sypatetically. Tyki reached out and pulled me in for a hug, one that I accepted and hugged back to since I truthfully did not give a shit at that point. I missed him too much.

He pulled back a bit so he could see my face, then cupped my face with his hand and kissed me. I kissed him back gladly, letting it go on...and on...and on... We finally noticed that the whole room had gone silent and still, so we broke apart and turned to see evey single one of them looking at us.

I should have been mortified, or scared. I wasn't though. Tyki's arms were still around me, so I felt fine. I saw the Earl shaking in anger, as were most of the Noah. But Road wasn't, she was smiling at us and she looked genuinely supportive. Tyki held me closer as the Earl ignored Allen, whom had been fighting him minutes before, and walked toward us.

"Tyki..." He said with malice, "I thought that we had discussed this. I guess I'll have to kill Lavi."

The Earl raised his sword above his head and was about to bring it down on me, but it was parried by Allen's innocence. Kanda and Lenalee fought off the rest of the the Noah, making sure that they didn't interfere. The Earl repeatedly tried to slash at me, but Allen also blocked those too.

"Lavi! Tyki! Get out of here! RUN! And don't come back if you want to stay together!" Allen yelled over his shoulder as he blocked several more blows by the increasingly angry Millenium Earl.

We seperated, but only by a few inches as we began to run towards the gaping whole in the wall. Suddenly, Road snapped a door open next to her, since she wasn't putting up any fight to help the Earl, no one was attacking her.

"Tyki! Lavi! Go through here!" The little girl pointed to the door, Tyki grabbed my hand and pulled me towards it instead of the wall. _He must trust her_, I thought, and didn't fight him.

We ran through the door into the dark, and the door snapped shut behind us. I saw we were in a city, and the street was deserted, but we kept running. He pulled me for another three blocks before we stopped and caught our breaths as we began to relax.

"Was it...worth it?" Tyki asked between pants, he looked unsure, which was rare for him.

I smiled warmly, "It sure was. I love you Tyki! Nothing will get in my way anymore!" I kissed him deeply to prove it.

He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me even deeper, slipping his tongue into the cavern of my mouth. The kiss was passionate and perfect. I melted into him in the middle of the empty street.

Yeah...I don't think either of us regret THIS.


End file.
